External Resources

Reality Therapy

Cultivating resourcefulness in Teens

Helping teens make responsible choices

Talking to your child about alcohol

How to Have a Family Meeting

The Family Meeting

The Child Mind Institute has prepared resources to help parents and other adults in talking to children and teens about traumatic events. Click here for a link to the guide.

The National Childhood Traumatic Stress Network created a guide for parents: Click for a link to “Talking to Children About the Shooting.”

Community Tragedy: Stress, Trauma and Media Overload by Dr. Donna Gaffney of the Traumatic Loss Coalitions for Youth discusses the dangers of the unrelenting exposure to media coverage of tragic, violent or traumatic events. The key takeaway, avoid media overload: turn off the radio and television and take a break from social media. Be pro-active and have a plan to counteract the unrelenting news cycle.

TLC4Teens has resources for supporting teens and their families facing challenges both in everyday life and when facing traumatic events like the Las Vegas Shooting.

When Disaster Strikes: Talking to Children about Traumatic Events

When Disaster Strikes: Talking to Children about Traumatic Events

 

A List of 9 Books to Help Teach and Reinforce Active Listening http://www.parents.com/fun/entertainment/books/best-books-to-teach-listening/

How to Practice Active Listening https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-active-listening-3024343

Comic relief: Everybody Loves Raymond https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VOubVB4CTU

How to use Active Listening with Children  http://hybridparenting.org/how-to-use-active-listening-with-children/

You Know What I Mean? Giving Directions (for parents of toddlers and preschoolers) https://www.cdc.gov/parents/essentials/videos/index.html?CDC_AA_refVal=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.cdc.gov%2Fparents%2Fessentials%2Fvideos%2Fvideo_direct_vid.html

Listening is a Skill http://centerforparentingeducation.org/library-of-articles/healthy-communication/the-skill-of-listening/

Ten Steps to Help with Active Listening https://www.forbes.com/sites/womensmedia/2012/11/09/10-steps-to-effective-listening/#1717be7d3891

Active Listening Skills Enrich your Parental Communication http://www.the-positive-parenting-centre.com/active_listening_skills.html

Become a Better Listener https://psychcentral.com/lib/become-a-better-listener-active-listening/

‘When I Was Your Age’ And Other Pitfalls Of Talking To Teens About Stress http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2017/04/16/523592625/-when-i-was-your-age-and-other-conversational-pitfalls-of-talking-to-teens

Parenting, Teen Stages and Mindfulness & Emotional Regulation

Get Out of My Life, But First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall: A Parent’s Guide to the New Teenager by Anthony Wolf

“Although the rocky and ever changing terrain of contemporary adolescence may bewilder parents, Get Out of My Life gives them a great road map.”

 

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Bessel van der Kolk, M.D.

“The Body Keeps the Score eloquently articulates how overwhelming experiences affect the development of brain, mind and body awareness, all of which are closely entwined.” Ruth A. Lanius

 

Mindful Parenting: Simple and Powerful Solutions to Raising Creative, Engaged and Happy Kids in Today’s Hectic World by Kristen Race

Rooted in the science of the brain, and integrating cognitive neuroscience and child development, Mindful Parenting is a unique program that speaks directly to today’s busy families who make up what Dr. Race calls “generation stress.”

Good Enough Mother: The Perfectly Imperfect Book of Parenting by Rene Syler and Karen Moline

For every woman who’s passed off store-bought cakes as her own at school bake sales comes an honest look at motherhood.

Next steps:

Introduction to Meditation Practice

Mindfulness for Beginners: Reclaiming the Present Moment and Your Life by Jon Kabat-Zinn

Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Face Stress, Pain and Illness by Jon Kabat-Zinn

 

Information is Beautiful- Meditation and Mindfulness

Parenting Experts Share Their Best Advice for Parents

Ask An Expert: What is Mindfulness and Why Should You Try It?

Aetna’s Month of Mindfulness Website/Blog

How to Practice Mindfulness Throughout Your Work Day (Harvard Business Review)

6 Mindfulness Exercises You Can Try Today (Pocket Mindfulness)

How to Practice Mindfulness Meditation (Psychology Today)

The Free Mindfulness Project

How to Have Difficult Conversations by Don Mager (Psychology Today)

 

 

 

Further Reading

Additional suggestions for how to have the pre-college conversation before you’re in the car driving them there.

Launching Conversations: Tips for Parents of College Bound Kids

Letting go: Tips for Parents of New College Students

Launching your College Student

Feeling melancholy about your child going off to college?

Struggling to Let Go of My College-Student Daughter

It’s not too early to start practicing:

The Six Things You Shouldn’t Say to Your Adult Child

 

Books

Richard Freed:
Wired Child: Reclaiming Childhood in a Digital Age

Lori Getz:
The Tech Savvy User’s Guide to the Digital World

Devorah Heitner:
Screenwise: Helping Kids Thrive (and Survive) in Their Digital World.
Heitner’s website includes the Mentorship Manifesto with tips to help families thrive in the digital age.

Yalda Uhls: Media Moms and Digital Dads: A Fact-Not-Fear Based Approach to Parenting in the Digital Age

Online Resources

Commonsensemedia.org is the leading independent nonprofit organization dedicated to helping kids thrive in a world of media and technology. We empower parents, teachers, and policymakers by providing unbiased information, trusted advice, and innovative tools to help them harness the power of media and technology as a positive force in all kids’ lives.

Media Glossary (including texting acronyms) from the PBS website’s parent resources.

Online Resources Every Parent Should Know About, from Real Simple, has links to online resources including Common Sense Media, but also Families Managing Media, The Family Online Safety Institute, and yourbrainonporn.org (a science-based website with information and resources about online porn addition), and Raising Digital Natives.

Articles

Gray Matters: Too Much Screen Time Damages the Brain by Victoria Dunckley M.D. in Psychology Today.
Neuroimaging research shows excessive screen time damages the brain.

How to Protect Your Kids from Cyber Bullying
Suggestions for whose rules to follow when at someone else’s house from kids.gov.

How Technology is Changing the Way Children Think and Focus by Jim Taylor Ph.D. in Psychology Today. Are your children prepared to think and focus for success in 21st century life?

The New York Times has published some excellent articles on these issues:

When Tech Is a Problem Child by Bruce Feiler

Screen Addiction is Taking a Toll on Children by Jane Brody

Hooked on Our Smart Phones by Jane Brody

Rules for Social Media Created by Kids by Devorah Heitner

Your Screen Time Rules or Mine by Sue Shellenbarger, The Wall Street Journal

Worried About Screen Time? Don’t Let Kids Go It Alone by Elissa Nadworny on NPR.org

Watch and Listen

PBS Newshour podcast: The Drug-like Effect of Screen Time on the Teenage Brain. Gy Judy Woodruff with Dr. Delaney Ruston and William Brangham.

The Challenges of Raising a Digital Native A TedX talk by Devorah Heitner, an advocate for using empathy to help young people navigate the social and emotional aspects of our electronic lives as well as the nuts and bolts of learning how to live life online.

YouTube video of author and motivational speaker Simon Sinek appearing on an episode of Inside Quest: On Millenials in the Workplace. Included in the extended video excerpt is a clear explanation of the connection between electronic use and dopamine in the brain.

Screenagers A highly personal account of teens and technology by a physical/film maker; the website also has useful links.