Learn to minimize confrontations while setting clear boundaries at our Communication & Boundaries " 11/2 (Montclair) and 11/17 (West Orange). Pre-registration required. Contact Susan Johnson at sjohnson@copecenter.net

Tip of the Week

Time for a Parenting Re-set:

Making Sure Those Chores Get Done (and Not By You)


One cliché of parenting is complaining that no-one else helps around the house. Pay attention next time you feel like no one is helping. Every time you do the job that you’ve been nagging your child to do, not only are you making more work for yourself, but you’re reinforcing the lesson that they don’t have to do it. They are learning that procrastination pays off and that you don’t mean what you say.

Time for a parenting re-set. Once you’ve told a child to do something, you can’t do it for them! Next time your child disappears without hanging up her coat, fails to empty the dishwasher, or doesn’t put his dirty clothes in the hamper, STOP!!. Don’t do the job yourself and don’t yell up the stairs. Instead, track down your offspring, remind them of their responsibilities, and supervise the task to completion. If you fail to do this, you are teaching your child that your commands are meaningless.

You should also give some thought to consequences. They might be trivial, like leaving the laundry on the floor and shrugging when your son complains that his favorite t-shirt isn’t in the drawer, or more serious, like telling your daughter that she can’t go to the mall with her friends until her chores are done. Don’t let the moment pass because it feels easier to let it go; it only gets harder and you’re not doing your child any favors by skipping this opportunity to teach responsibility.


Supporting Parents of Essex County, NJ is a website sponsored by the COPE Center, that offers Essex County, NJ families a comprehensive source of information about events, programs, and resources. Focusing on local resources, we are families’ first stop to find up-to-date parenting advice, the go-to website to find parenting works and programs that parents need to navigate the challenges of twenty-first century parents in a world where we are bombarded with information. You can have confidence that the Supporting Parents of Essex County, NJ website will lead you to information that helps you make the most of family life.